I have to admit that I really don’t like writing things at the last minute. I’m really tempted to skip a week or two, maybe a month. Experience has taught me that not writing is not in my best interest. I like to have a couple of thought rambles scheduled so I don’t feel pressure to write. Hopefully that will happen soon. Right now I seem to be chasing my tail — not enough time in the day to get things done. Of course it doesn’t help that we spent most of the summer in the country. Lady of leisure — I cooked, I read, I watched sunrises and sunsets. Since I had a sore hamstring — I didn’t push myself to exercise and I’m still paying the price.
I shared with one of my daughters my frustration with the day. I should have gone back to bed and stayed there. NOTHING WORKED! I could NOT access the internet from the table in our dining room. I Could Not access my cell phone. I COULD NOT zipper my coat, actually looking at the coats in my closet, I wasn’t sure which was my new coat and ended up pulling out one which was a few years old. The first morning it zippered, the next day it did not. I went searching for a coat that had a zipper that would work! The coat fit, the zipper worked and I realized it was a coat that I bought a few years ago that fit when I tried it on but was too small the next day. It still is a bit tight, but it FIT and it was very warm! Of course, the zipper on the first coat worked. Now I have located the coat that was extremely comfortable last year. Its zipper works.
My daughter asked why I was having so many problems. I replied that the “blocks were on”. But I didn’t know why. This morning it dawned on me. “There are students in training.” Two of my cousins have recently arrived on the other side. I wouldn’t put it past my father and others to take them under their wing and give them suggestions on how to “help” their family here on earth.
I’m hopeful that having learned some of the ways to “help”, they will use their new found knowledge to “help” their other family members who are still on earth. I have no idea how many members are part of “my team”, but I’m sure it is more than three and some dogs and cats might be members too. I often end up at the right place, at the right time to help either a two footed human or a four footed.
Recently I attended a Chi Gong session at the hospital. I totally enjoyed it and made plans to attend on a more regular basis. UNTIL the next morning when my body parts objected STRONGLY. Hamstring — stretched again — hurt again. I thought I was giving it the exercise it needed . I was wrong!
Every birthday is important, celebrated. Another year has passed with its challenges and blessings. Somehow entering a new decade carries more expectations. “Life begins at 40” was a quote I used often when I entered that decade. And for me, it did. I learned how to cross country ski and also discovered that I could paint. I’m way past that decade now.
When I turned 50, I graduated from junior college with an Associates degree. I learned that I didn’t learn things as easily as I did when I was younger. I actually had to study and reread parts of the chapters. When I was young, learning was easy. I read something and retained what I had read. Sadly, passing years didn’t give me the same advantage. I also stopped working during that decade. The job was hazardous to my health and my husband told me to quit before the job killed me. For a change I listened.
Writing became part of my life when I was 60. I self published To Pap, With Love, a children’s book Treasure Chest, and Journey with me. As that decade came to an end, I started writing Wandering With Spirit.
Now I’m in my 70″s. My family wants me to pick up my paint brush again. This time in acrylic, since my husband has Emphysema. I’m reminded constantly to lose weight and to exercise. Especially since a pulled hamstring in July stopped my exercising and stiff muscles are the outcome. “My friends in high places” are always encouraging me to write. The blog is over six years old. I seldom miss a week except this time since we were on vacation and only home one day before we were gone again. I have three new toys to cook with and I’m excited.
Recently when one of my daughters celebrated her 50th year, the universe joined in the celebration. Her horoscope for that day was amazing. We don’t believe everything that is written, but the details are always enjoyed. For fun, the temperature of the day was the same date as her birth year. Another blessing. Just to put the topping on the cake, her first initial appeared in the sky a cloud in the radar.
I receive “help” in my life on a daily basis. Most of it occurs without my noticing it. Sometimes it repeats itself on such a regular basis that I become aware. I often receive “help” when I’m writing. It began when I was writing To Pap, With Love. I DID NOT HAVE WRITING EXPERIENCE. I’m not a great typist — as a matter of fact, I almost FLUNKED typing in high school. “what do you mean I can’t look at the keys?”
Thankfully we now have computers, that help with spelling errors. Computers were not in regular use when my father was alive. It didn’t take him long on the other side to learn how to manipulate the system. I don’t know how else to describe it. The day of my father’s wake, at work, my sons computers made such a mess he gave up and came home. Our future son-in-law, hoping to work on a school project, also gave up when the computers locked.
When I wrote my first book, sentences disappeared as they were eaten by the yellow figure on a packman game. The printer jammed. One chapter stopped printing whenever it reached our granddaughters communion party. That “help” occurred often when I was writing that book. It continued when I wrote the various stories in Journey With Me.
Today I still receive “help” on a regular basis. For some reason it is IMPORTANT that I share thought rambles on a regular basis. Today I have brain fog. NO ideas were coming to mind. Thankfully I’m receiving “help”. Files are saved and the computer leaves the place where I’m working. I’m being reminded of long ago. My father passed over in 1995.
Evidently I NEED a lot of “help” because I’m ALWAYS on the receiving end. Some of the help is not exactly what I want. I don’t like to get hit on the head. Nor do I like the frozen cascade of food from the freezer. Thankfully the food has not been landing on my feet lately. Last year I always had compression stocking on my legs. This year I have enjoyed the freedom of going barefoot so most of the time my toes are not protected.
If my thought ramble is not of the quality that is accepted, it won’t save. Or as in time gone by, the sentences unravel. I’m mentioning this because so many persons think the because time has passed, their friends on the other side don’t think of them — I wish to share that years gone by on the other side don’t seem to make a difference.
The house phone rang at 3:00 AM. It was ADT. “I have a medical alert call from Diane McDonald. ”
“This is she, ” I answered. “I was sleeping. I didn’t phone you.”
She asked: “Do you have a pendant?”
” No!,” I answered.
“I’ll try to cancel the ambulance.”
Okay. I was awake. Listening for the door bell — scanning my body parts. I have friends in high places, was something wrong that I didn’t know about. ??? Thankfully no ambulance came. Both my husband and my son had messages on their phones but they were turned off. Nothing appeared to be wrong. I didn’t have any more or any less pain than when I went to bed. Of course it was over an hour before I was able to go to sleep.
It was Saturday. My plans were to go to Body, Mind, Spirit Expo, and I proceeded with my plan. I enjoyed the Expo, visited with many of the vendors that I know. Most of the people are more talented than I am but I’m comfortable there. The last workshop that I attended was by Dr. Michael Chapman. He had been told by God that he had a job to do, and after resisting, he finally agreed. When he told his story, Dr. Chapman said that at 3:00 AM stuff happens. I had to laugh. Good Morning!
He singled out many members of the audience, then he came to me. “What do you do?” he asked.
I replied, “I’m Retired.”
“No — your not! What do you do?”
I admitted that I write a blog: Wandering With Spirit.
At which point he said: “Keep doing what your doing. Your readers will increase. Those who read your blog will feel the spirit.”
He might have said more than that, but it was at the end of the day and my mind was tired.
Sunday morning I was at Mass. We have a new pastor whose homilies contain words that have more personal meaning. The gospel pertained to a Canaanite woman who wanted Jesus to help her daughter. Father emphasized how important it was for us to reach out to people of the world, not only people of our faith. Songs at Mass continued the message: “Precious Lord, Take My hand” and “Be Not Afraid.” Both songs have meaning for me! ” I get the message! KEEP WRITING!”
Medical Alert?? Still confused or did “they” just want me to know that I’m not alone? Always questions — no answers.
When I first started writing this blog, I should have numbered the ramblers instead of giving them a title. I’m finding coming up with titles — DIFFICULT — almost worse than actually writing a thought ramble. I NEVER date the thought rambles, I have no idea when the first REMINDED published. Rereading it was delightful. I’m guessing it was at least three years ago. Somethings haven’t changed — Mother Mary is still an important part of my life. My memory is no better and perhaps a bit more shaky.
Returning from three weeks in the country with only a couple of days home before we leave again is still ROUGH. What did I do before we left home — especially when it comes to paying the bills that needed to be paid but haven’t arrived yet? I thought I had the situation well in hand — I phoned for a balance of what was due and mailed a check. While we were gone — the bills arrived. Were they paid? They didn’t jive with what I thought I paid. Many prayers sent top side to ask for “help”! More phone calls to straighten them out. More round and round with their answering computer systems. I miss live people! I’m paying bills in advance again. Hopefully I have made enough notes to refresh my memory.
I knew I needed to bring out Spenda, my husband’s sugar substitute. Just in case I had forgotten — the box of more than 1200 packets fell, spilling its contents all over the floor. Since I had to pick up the packets any way, I filled a storage bag to take more with me. That happened on our first day home.
I brought a package of defrosted hamburger meat home with me. Before leaving the camper, I planned to make meatloaf for supper but my husband planned that we would eat out. I decided to make a pot of beef, lentil soup — it would use up the hamburger and some of the broth I had opened. Thankfully I had lentils and barley in stock.
Second day home the bible suggested I get Wisdom, Understanding. Proverbs 4:5. Queen of Angels opened to CURE FOR OVERWORK. Bills were paid but I still needed to replenish supplies. A person I met had asked to read my book Journey. I didn’t have any copies with me and planned to look for them before we left again. I received a phone call from the company that published the book. It reminded me that I needed to go on a search and find mission. Thankfully I found the extra copies right away. I opened the book randomly to CUYLER, and I was impressed with what I had written. I didn’t feel I needed to rewrite.
Third day home: Trump — North Korea were in my face when I opened my ipad. Bible: My son, why increase your cares? Sirach 11:10. Queen of Heaven chapter 4: Keys to Healing. I sent up prayers for our world and asked for “HELP” WRITING. I wanted to have at least three thought rambles ready to publish before we left again. My life gets VERY INTERESTING when I fall behind.
Two phones calls arrived on Sunday. The first was from a friend sharing the sad news that her sister had passed. It was not expected. She hadn’t been ill — in the hospital for some procedure. The second was from my husband’s older brother. We knew he had lung cancer, we didn’t know that the cancer had spread to his other lung and he didn’t plan to get more treatment.
I decided to send my book JOURNEY WITH ME to them. The stories in the book were written when my father first passed over to the other side. I was just beginning to recognize “help” from the other side. Since I was writing my first book TO PAP, WITH LOVE — I became VERY AWARE of the fact that I had an unseen editor. Writing the book was challenging on two fronts. The first was in remembering the events that occurred in the right order. For the most part I hadn’t kept a journal during my father’s illness. Sometimes I wrote a few notes which were a great help but most of the events relied on my memory. The second front involved “my editors.” I had TROUBLE in the writing — sentences disappeared, computer shut off, printing a hard copy became impossible at times. I don’t know if I kept notes on all the fun I had writing and rewriting the book. When I finally finished I tried without success to get a publisher. I ended up publishing the book myself through IUNIVERSE — an online publishing company that only prints books to order.
The great thing about publishing through IUNIVERSE was not only the affordability and the professional help, but the books are still available. Not only TO PAP, WITH LOVE but also JOURNEY WITH ME from Amazon. I found TO PAP, WITH LOVE quickly — JOURNEY WITH ME was harder. I needed to add the author’s name to the search.
Before I mailed JOURNEY, I decided to read some of the stories I had included. Some were very familiar. I was in the process of taking a class in creative writing at our city college. Some of the stories were written for the class. Others came from incidents that I included in TO PAP, expanded into more of a story. Others were brand new — no longer in my memory. I realized that if I wanted to get the books in the mail, I needed to stop reading and mail. I decided to read the last stories before mailing the books. TaDum TaDum TaDum included my husband’s second cancer surgery. I included a sentence that stated I knew why he needed chemo again because of a dream I had. ?????? What dream? What message? CONFUSED!
Since the writing was at the end of JOURNEY I knew the timeline it might have come from. For many years I have kept a daily engagement calendar. I guessed on the date of the dream and thankfully found a tiny note. Because there was a long time frame from the discovery of the cancer and the removal, there was more time for the cancer to spread. I referred to it in my notes as weeds. There was also a note from the dream on eating more vegetarian meals to help control my weight.
I was glad that I found the note on the dream. It would have bothered me. I have to admit that I’m still not good on taking notes. I either think I will remember (WRONG) or hide them from myself. I thought that discovering the importance from notes might make me more apt to take them, but the reality is that it won’t.
January — grey skies, freezing temperatures, cold wind — it is enough to make anyone depressed. Blue skies, sun, green grass — hiding for days. Various vitamins, teas haven’t helped. Since I’m trying to regain some of my flexibility, I’ve committed to exercising EVERYDAY, except for Sunday. I haven’t seen a decrease in weight, and depending on the day, I’m not seeing a change in flexibility yet. But I have just started — I’m not giving up yet. I will admit that the soreness in my knees isn’t helping.
Recently we were at Wal-Mart and I happened to find a daily planner that had pictures to color. At first I wasn’t going to buy it. I already have two journals that I use on a daily basis. I have an inner reflections calendar that tracks the day of the week. It has lovely photos and inspirational sayings. I use it to write down important happenings of the day. I’ve used a new version of the planner for many years.
I also have a weekly/monthly planner in which I log doctor appointments, planned travel and other important notes. It has facing pages for the month — easy to see when we have plans for a specific period of time. I log the titles of my blog — trying to make sure I have something written. The daily pages I use to note the food I have eaten, how many steps I have walked and how much I have slept. I don’t use calorie counts or measurements on the food. That might explain why my weight is staying the same. This is the third year that I have searched for this particular planner. I’ve discovered that having the month in my face helps, especially since now I log in my husbands sugar numbers. It has allowed me to change doctor’s appointments when we have had a conflict.
Since I have these two books — why do I need another? I put the book back on the shelf and explored other spending opportunities. Checking off items on my shopping list, I remembered something my husband wanted. After I found the item, I found myself back in the aisle that had the planner. No surprise, it was in my hand, and checked out at the cashier. I still didn’t know why I was picking it up.
What to do with the new planner? I’ve decided to try something new. I’ve decided to make this planner my gratitude journal. I log in my exercise for the day and earn the opportunity to color a bit of the picture. The space for writing is very small. Sometimes I can easily fill in all the lines. Sometimes I’m digging for anything to write. I’ll admit that almost each day of my life contains something to be grateful for. Especially if I’m out and about. I might be in the right place, at the right time to help someone. I might hear a bird or meet a neighbor. I don’t always remember. Writing them down helps. If the day has been quite, If nothing else, I can always write down that I woke up. I will also admit that I don’t feel the need to finish coloring the picture.
I haven’t been doing this long enough to know if it helps with depression but it is a start.