Random Acts of "Kindness"

Posts tagged ‘meditation’



Loss is a hard feeling to deal with. Especially when the person who has crossed over is very close to your heart. I am EXTREMEMLY LUCKY. When my father passed over more than twenty years ago, he sent me a message that he remembered me. I was alert enough at that time to recognize it. And that has made all the difference. Now I’ll admit that my mother has probably been active in my life for many years. But she was skilled in her activities. My father is skilled too, BUT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO HIM THAT HE LET ME KNOW HE WAS FINE.

I wrote once that I’ve crossed a bridge. Over the years I have received many lessons from my “spirit team.” I have detailed many of those experiences in my book JOURNEY WITH ME. In fact I was reminded of the book recently when I sent an e-mail to my family, giving them homework — to read a chapter a day or a week –to remind them how spirit interacts with our lives. Their grief was very visible.

Thankfully my husband also sent me a message after he passed. Thankfully he is often with me at home and when I am out and about. I recently crossed paths with a gentleman who is 102. He was shopping at the store, not using a cane or a motorized cart. He wants to live to be 105. That same day I met a woman who is taking care of her handicapped husband. They watched a movie together and he laughed. He thanked her. He was glad that he could still laugh. We talked for a short while. During the conversation she told me she saw her deceased father sitting in the back of a car. I saw the spirit of a dog who had recently passed run through our house but I don’t normally see things. I don’t “see” things when I meditate either. My daughter confirmed that I’m not visual.

I like to have presents under the tree for my family for Christmas. They don’t need to be large or expensive, just a little surprise. I wanted a present for our son. Nothing called his name when I was looking for a gift. He had already announced that neither of us needed anything. And he is right! That doesn’t solve my problem! Until my husband went shopping with me and I found the perfect present. It would have been perfect for my husband if he was still alive. Hopefully it will be perfect for my son.

When my husband was alive, shopping was NOT his favorite activity. Especially when I wanted to visit many stores. I don’t know if his feeling for shopping has changed but I love RECOGNIZING HIS HELP.


This word WAS NOT part of my vocabulary. It wandered into my mind. After checking to confirm that is was a word, I decided it was an excellent title for a thought ramble. Especially after the happenings in my life in January and February. Thwarted: “Block or Hinder. To keep from doing.”

Perhaps I should explain. In January I received an invitation to join Deepak Chopra for a 4 week meditation. I have tried to do his three week meditations in the past and although I still have trouble meditating, I thought I should keep trying. My schedule was clear — I thought I would be able to do it for four weeks. The first day, I connected to the meditation. That was the end of my success. Communication with the HELP desk didn’t help. From experience I knew I was being BLOCKED. WHY? No answer.

At the end of January the reason became apparent. Our 9 year old granddaughter’s migraines and thunder boomers had increased to such an extent that her mother took her to Diamond Clinic at St. Joseph hospital in Chicago. Her brother and their two dogs, one a black lab 4 month old puppy, stayed with us. When her father and brother returned home, I suggested the dogs stay with us. The puppy was excellent, just a puppy, forever hungry and wanting to play. All of Robin’s toys, in various states of togetherness, occupied the whole house. I quickly decided that exercise was NOT an option.

I was surprised at the number of states that the patients at St. Joseph came from. Diamond clinic must be very well known and we are blessed to have it in Chicago. Patients came from as far away as California and Georgia. Tennessee, Ohio and Missouri were also represented. Sadly the treatment didn’t get rid of my granddaughters headaches, although they might be better. I must admit that the house was quiet when the dogs left.

Our life returned to normal, right? WRONG! I’m still trying to catch up on sleep. Our winter weather mix is still continuing. Last Sunday was the first Sunday I attended Mass since Christmas. I don’t wander out when it is icy, nor do I drive. Watching the weather systems and shopping between them describes both January and February.

Shopping has presented its own challenges. I recently returned from Wal-Mart without half of my groceries. One bag was missing. Checking my receipt to get the phone number, I noticed that the items missing were not charged. ?? If there is an explanation, I don’t know what it is.

Sadly, I don’t keep good notes. I don’t write down the number of frustrations that are in each day. I read recently that I should note the co-incidences that occur in my life. I laughed. Co-incidences — DAILY? I don’t write down the number of times my brain doesn’t remember stuff. In other words, I don’t remember all of the times that thwarted fit the day. I’m sure it was a lot!


The weatherman warned that the day would be the last 60 day temperature of the season. It was 60 degrees at 7:30 AM. I couldn’t resist. I put on a light jacket and heated a cup of coffee and spent a very relaxing 1/2 hour on the porch. I tried to meditate. It didn’t happen. Instead I watched a plane fly overhead, listened to the wind in the trees and a siren — ambulance or fire engine, I didn’t know. A large bird flew by — big sea gull or ??. In short I took a break from the day. I will admit that after a half hour passed, I made a cup of hot tea. I was chilled. 60 degrees, even with a light jacket was still not warm enough for me.

We all have different talents. Some people are very good cooks or comics or artists. Some people are very good at organizing, writing or planning. We all have our individual talents — the trick is to recognize them and use them well. One of my daughters is in the habit of having coffee with God. She tells Him her concerns and listens for advice. I storm heaven on a regular basis, problems and concerns personal to me or my concerns about the world or our country. I don’t hear with a voice in my ear, God’s response to me. But I know that I am listened to and often the answer will come through. If I’m paying attention.

Part of my heritage is Irish. Andrew Greeley, author, has referred to the Irish gift with the heroin Nuala Anne McGrail in many of his Irish novels. Does my gift come from my mother, who happens to be on the other side? I don’t think I will ever have the answer to that particular question and does it matter? My German grandmother’s birthday was on a Monday. I took Robin for a walk and met a friend of mine. I told her of the approaching gathering with my granddaughter and great grand. She had many items that would have made their visit easier. Although searching our house and talking to my daughter I learned I didn’t have to take advantage of her offer, I thanked my grandmother for her help.

Does it really matter where my gifts come from? Does it really matter if the gift is cooking, or writing or art? Does it really matter that I receive “help” from the other side. I recently picked up the book Waking Up In Heaven and read a few pages. I will admit that the book didn’t come home with me. I’m aware that many of my family, friends and four footed companions are on the other side. I’m also aware that I am seldom alone. I left the book for a person who really needs to read it.


I have been told many times that I have talents that I don’t use. No hints have been given as to what those talents are. I just keep muddling through — trying to do the best that I can. I have shared that I try to meditate, but only on a very rare occasion do I get an image or connection. Exactly what is supposed to occur when you meditate? I don’t know. Sometimes I will get an image, sometimes I will see light — blue, yellow, clear. Most of the time I have a blank screen where nothing happens. But sometimes I get a surprise.

I was at Botanical Garden — enjoying the sunshine, the breeze, the day. It was cool — jacket needed, I was glad my hat could be fastened. The daffodils were still in bloom, crab apple trees waiting for warmer weather. The waterfall was running. I stopped to catch my breathe and listen to the running water. Before I sat down, I read a note about the cherry trees that the Japanese government had given to Washington DC and also The Botanic Garden.

Sitting on a bench to rest, I closed my eyes and watched as a gray image dressed in ceremonial garb came towards me. The image stopped within touching distance — too close if it would have been an actual person. I was surprised by the image, and although I tried to discern more about it — the image disappeared before I could tell if it was male or female, and what the garments actually were. I just had the impression they weren’t normal American clothing.

From the waterfall, I wandered to the Japanese Garden. I usually try to stop and watch with closed eyes (meditate?) at one of the secluded areas but the Garden was too busy to try. As is my practice, I wandered over to the island, crossing the bridge through the wooded area, visiting my favorite places, talking to others and taking pictures.

At the end of the wooded area, in the sunshine, protected from the wind, I stopped again on a bench — closing my eyes. I was amazed to watch many gray figures wander past. I don’t remember most of them, but one was a farmer in overalls with a woman walking with him. They were proceeding down the path, heading for the entrance. I watched for a minute, then decided that maybe it was time to leave.

I stopped for a bite to eat at the cafe. Since it was a beautiful day, I wanted to sit outside. An oriental couple were leaving as I looked for an empty table. “Thank You” my response to my world. I saw a young woman looking for a place to sit. Everything was taken, so she sat on the bench by the fence. Since I was alone, I asked her to join me. SURPRISE (not really)– the woman was Japanese, a teacher who taught the Japanese language to her students in a high school.


The Mind, Body, Spirit Exp. comes to our area three times a year. I try to attend at least two of the events. I’ll admit that this summer I wasn’t looking forward to attending. I had low energy, just plain TIRED. My husband knows how much I enjoy going — it is one place where I’m comfortable — the participants are more talented than I am — he convinced me to go.

This weekend, I felt like I was walking under a dark cloud that I couldn’t escape. Tired, no energy, no workshops that called my name — “Why am I here?” — that describes the situation. Since I go to the event so often, I know many of the vendors. When I stopped to talk to one, she suggested that I spend some time with crystals. I had already spent time looking for a new crystal pendulum without success. Each one I tried didn’t want to come home with me. I wandered to the booths that sell crystals. On the way, I stopped to chat and shared my quest. Doing so, I received help. A brother of one of the vendors suggested I follow him and he would help me find a pendulum. We wandered to the first booth I had stopped at that morning, but instead of pendulums, he stopped at pendants. “Choose one.” he said. There were more than a hundred pendants on the table — many emblems, many different colors — too many to choose from. I put my hand out and touched three — one for healing, a mermaid and a dragon. I almost chose the pendant for healing but both the creator of the pendant and the brother thought I should get the dragon — I’m fiery and have good energy. (Not Saturday but they’ve known me for many years.) I knew I needed a name for the dragon, but the brother told me that the dragon would tell me his name. I almost laughed, I have a hard time with names, titles. I stopped in the bathroom and thankfully the name Ruffus popped into my mind. The dragon had shared his name! And that is not all he shared.

I remembered the direction to spend time with crystals so I revisited the artist and asked what crystals comprised the pendant. Although I could list them, I have tried three times and each time something has occurred to stop my writing. Therefore I will take the direction that the knowledge of the dragon’s properties is for my use only, and just say that the various crystals in my dragon seems to be working for my good.

Sunday morning, I arrived in time to listen to a shaman who uses song for healing. Preparing for meditations, I always close my eyes — I closed my eyes to listen to his song and not be distracted by the outside. I was very surprised. I don’t have control over my talents — they are gifts that come and go at their will, not mine. With closed eyes, I saw a lion, a dog, a wolf, and an eagle. I knew I wouldn’t remember so I opened my eyes and wrote them down. Closed eyes again, I saw a buffalo, a deer, many winged species, then recognizable — a crow and a hawk. When his song was over, I asked the shaman if his song was meant to call in the animals and told what I had experienced.

Many of the crystals in Ruffus are for clarity and channeling. If Ruffus can chase the dark clouds and help with my other issues, he and I will be VERY good friends!


Ordinary Sunday — attending church with our daughter’s family, I stopped in the bathroom before services began. I listened to a woman as she wrestled with her makeup. She wasn’t happy with the way the makeup looked or how it was going on. She was rather verbal about it. So much so, that I counseled her to stop being so hard on herself. Her doctor had threatened her with insulin, she wanted to lose weight instead. And I remembered how my husband is often telling me to stop being so hard on myself. Stop being so negative. The words flow so easily out of my mouth.

I asked her how old she was. She didn’t want to tell me but finally did. I mentioned that she was twenty years younger than myself. She didn’t believe me — she looked at my neck, and said I had a young neck. I thought my neck looked like a turkey wattle.

As a matter of fact, I’m beating myself up with a wet noodle this morning. Figuratively, not actually. My weight WAS DOWN two pounds. I WAS so happy, but not today. In fact, my weight is UP three pounds and it is all my fault. Saturday I made a new recipe for pickles and used one tablespoon of salt to relieve the cucumbers of their liquid. I thought the salt would wash off when I washed the cucumbers before adding the brining liquid. Oops! I should have cut the salt. TOO LATE NOW! I could toss the remaining pickles but I have a feeling that I will continue to enjoy them and deal with the extra weight.

More than seven years ago my daughter gave me a mandolin when she was working for Pampered Chef. It rested in my cabinet until Saturday. I often thought of using it but never did. I always took out a knife and sliced whatever needed to be cut. Over the years I’ve watched demonstrators use it and remembered the one sitting at home. The cucumbers needed to be cut thinly, I needed the mandolin. IT WAS EASY and I was careful and didn’t cut myself.

The minister asked a good question: “What does it take to see real, lasting and effective change in our lives?” I remembered many years ago when I was at the camper, taking a walk, trying to find words to put on cards I was giving to participants in Christ Renews His Church weekend my group was hosting the next week. These words came to me during the walk: “Lord, as long as you are with me, I’m not alone.” I used those words for the cards I was making for the group of women we hosted. My husband used the words to make a card for me. And remembering the gift of those words was a great breakthrough in my life.

It is time for another breakthrough. Real — effective — lasting change? I need to stop being so hard on myself. I need to stop the negative talk — easier said than done.



Gooey, slippery, smothering — muck. It is hard to get out of it — it grabs hold and doesn’t let go. Sometimes there is a reason for it. Rain causes the ground to become a muddy mess. That wasn’t the kind of muck I was stuck in. AND THERE WAS NO REASON FOR IT. I had been trying to lose weight — unsuccessfully. The weather, although moderate wasn’t to blame. No snow — temperatures above zero — I was able to get out of the house, safely take Robin for a walk. Thankfully no serious health problems or money problems. Okay, not enough money to go on a shopping spree but again, thankfully, no bill collectors calling on the phone.

Grey skies or if you prefer gray skies — the good news — kept the temperature up — I tried to convince myself to be happy for the blanket — warmer weather. I missed the sun, the blue skies. I exercised — I even added strength training. I tried meditating — no progress.

To make matters worse, my memory took a vacation. I’m usually good at writing checks, remembering to pay bills. The muck affected my ability to think. I won’t bore you with some of my mistakes, hopefully it isn’t long lasting. Our car needed a repair and I miswrote the check not once but two times. I went to the bank the same day — that was definitely a mistake. Thankfully the clerk was very helpful. I thought my forgetfulness was past until I totally screwed up when it came to filing our paperwork to save money on our taxes. Thankfully I discovered my mistake in time and was able to get the paperwork downtown before the file date.

Depression? Winter Blues? I don’t have a clue. I don’t have any energy — I have the time to make some progress on our house but no desire to do anything. I wandered to the store on Saturday — I met a member of our church. She shared the news that a parishioner had gone into the hospital for surgery and something went wrong, she had just attended his funeral. We should be glad we are still here. And I am — I just want to get out of the muck. The week before, at the store again, a woman ahead of me confided that the calorie count for exercise on the program I’m using to try to lose weight is high. And I thought that allowed me to eat a few more calories. WRONG!

Still trying, but some results would be nice.

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