Random Acts of "Kindness"

Posts tagged ‘HEALTH’

HONORING THE MAN

It is with great sadness that I share the news that my husband of more than 55 years has passed over to the other side. We learned in September that he had pneumonia, then the mass in his lung was small cell cancer. He survived time in the hospital, kept his humor and quality of life. Chemo and having to wear oxygen began to take its toll. He did not like to wear the oxygen. He did not want to be a burden on me. He did not like the sore throat. He did not like that it hurt to eat. His favorite food became oatmeal with lots of butter, potato soup with lots of butter and chicken noodle soup with LOTS OF BUTTER A friend shared that her sister with cancer liked POTATO SOUP WITH LOTS OF BUTTER.

We applied for and received a handicapped parking placard. We submitted a form for handicapped parking. HE DID NOT NEED EITHER.

Although his body was responding to the chemo, masses were shrinking in his lungs, other parts of his body said this is enough. He passed over in the hospital at 1:18 in the morning. Both my son and daughter were there. They are having trouble sleeping in the one o’clock hour. Nights can be difficult. It depends on the track m y mind wants to take.

At first I was ANGRY. “Why did you leave me?” Then I realized I was being selfish. He DID NOT WANT to be handicapped. HE DID NOT WANT to be a burden on me. HE DID NOT WANT TO have to wear oxygen.

These thoughts and more in the same vein have helped during this time of “PROCESS.” Many things have been delayed. I’m not going to list them. I have been aware of “help” from the other side for many years. Now my husband has joined the team. Is he adding to the merriment. It is hard to tell. The Saturday when our daughter was heading back home, her car wouldn’t start. Although she used her car for trips to the hospital with out any troubles, she NEEDED A NEW BATTERY.

Cell phones and computers have a life of their own. Slowly, very slowly, I’m taking care of business. I’m dotting the i’s and crossing the “t’s”. And tomorrow will be another day.

FITTING

FITTING

I had to pull out my laptop to take care of a couple of challenges. Since the computer was out, I decided to look for something to republish. This article from last year is still so very true. I have been trying to clear a space in the small room off our bedroom so my husband could sit safely in a chair when he is sleeping. It is easier for him to breath sitting up.

Oh the treasures I have found. Hidden in a black bag was a beautiful knitted project, lovely blue shaded yarn, with safety pins attached to each. loop. ??? I had NO IDEA. What was I making? Thankfully I also found a picture nearby with instructions. WHY DID I STOP? Good questions. No answers.

I’m sure there are more challenges ahead.
ABSENT MINDED

I have noticed that my memory isn’t as good as it was when I was younger. Either the cracks are getting bigger or more stuff is falling through. I’m in trouble when it comes to money — paying bills, remembering to write down debit charges, etc. I panicked recently when I discovered that I forgot to deduct our insurance from the checkbook. Luckily we had the money in there to cover it.

Balancing the checkbook is always a chore. I have money hidden to cover small mistakes. Recently I had to use some of it and the new balance didn’t reflect the subtraction. I didn’t believe the new amount. Thankfully this month the balance is more in line to what I thought it was.

I’m sure I don’t need to mention all the times I lose my glasses or my cell phone. When I misplace money it is even worse. I write myself notes to help me remember where I have put stuff. Especially if it is something I don’t use regularly. I always remember the old place not the new one.

Thankfully I have “friends in high places.” I don’t depend on them but I’ll yell for “help” if I feel the need.
And often they help when asked or when they know I need it.

Yesterday — I planned to heat water in the tea kettle for tea. The burner wouldn’t light. As a matter of fact, NONE of the burners on the stove would light. I asked my husband to work magic and fix it. Before he did, I asked my husband if he wanted to go out for breakfast. We don’t go out often but it just felt like something to do. I even decided to put on a long dress. I seldom wear a skirt or a dress not to mention a long one. I even put on earrings. Most unusual!

We went out for breakfast and on the way to a hardware store our youngest daughter phoned. “Happy anniversary to you” she sang. WHAT? She was right! It was our wedding anniversary. Both my husband and I had forgotten.

Dressed up — out for breakfast — someone in high places had remembered and HELPED.

Just a note: That evening ALL of the burners on the stove lit.

THEY ARE BACK

THEY ARE BACK

I DID NOT MISS them. A while ago it dawned on me that I hadn’t had a hot flash in a LONG time. Maybe they thought I missed them. I DIDN’T. Days passed and my birthday rolled around. Accomplishment. I’m 75. The day of my birthday I didn’t feel like celebrating. My husband has lung cancer. He had his first chemo treatment and handled it as well as could be expected. He is on oxygen. Climbing the stairs to our bedroom was too much hard work. I DID NOT feel like celebrating.

A few days later, I noticed that my hair was wet, so was my shirt. I changed clothes and did not pay any attention. Until it happened again, and again, and AGAIN. I finally realized what was going on. HOT FLASHES were back. Is this supposed to make me feel younger? It doesn’t!

One flash a day is bad enough. Yesterday I changed my shirt THREE times. Each time my top was VERY damp. I DO NOT like damp clothes. The last thing I need right now is to get sick myself. Just what I need — more stress.

My husband has made some progress. He was able to climb the stairs and sleep in our bedroom. Two or three days of progress. Then various things have sent progress in the wrong direction.

I’d like to apologize for not having anything publish last week. Sadly that might be the first of many times that I miss publishing a thought ramble.

I don’t like to share all my frustration and worries on paper. Some one suggested that if I wrote, I might feel better. “My friends in high places” are always ready to help. One of my words for today was adversity. Not what I wanted to hear or read. The bible opened to more fighting. I didn’t read the chapter. Oatmeal that I was making for breakfast ran out of water and needed another 10 minutes to soften. My blood pressure pills escaped from their pill box and hid on the floor. The computer that I’m using developed a black screen. SCARING ME! One of the plugs for the connection had loosened and I ran out of battery. At least it was an easy fix.

AGING AGAIN

AGING AGAIN

This past week flew by. TIME did NOT stand still. Instead it disappeared in a blink of an eye. More important things took the place of normal life. Days disappeared. Suddenly it was the weekend and although I might have thought about writing, that thought quickly disappeared.

I must admit that I have no idea when this was published. Sadly I haven’t put the date on anything I’ve written. . Somehow I don’t see that changing. I have added another year to my age. I wish I could announce that I have done this exercise numerous times and my flexibility has GREATLY IMPROVED. I don’t like to lie. Sadly the DVD was lost . Although I searched and searched, it stayed hidden until recently. Now with the current health challenge, I’m not sure it will fit into my current schedule. I was SURPRISED to learn how high my blood pressure had risen. I thought I was handling the STRESS, evidently I was WRONG.
AGING BACKWARDS

I was intrigued when I learned of the DVD. I was very happy when the person who told me about it, followed up with an email with the correct title and presenter. Instead of debating for weeks, I searched, found and ordered right away. In fact, it arrived before we went back out to the camper. It traveled with me. And I actually opened it and tried out the first exercise before we even left.

It was a good thing that I did. Exercise clothes that I previously been able to wear were impossible to remove. My shoulders have tightened up, as well as other body parts. Since I had advanced warning, I was able to bring clothes to exercise in.

The exercises are extremely gentle. I have trouble getting down on the floor. The first time I did the floor work, I sat on the couch. I have since been able to get down onto the floor, getting up is still a major problem. My knees don’t want to support my weight. My right leg doesn’t bend like it used to. I’m guessing that the stiffness in my body contributes to my feeling of being old. I’m hoping that as I become more flexible, that feeling will pass.

Each time I have done the exercises – one compete set is for muscles, the second for bones and uses a chair for bar work — that night various body parts protest that I moved them. I have done the complete series 6 times now. Either I’m trying harder or working more of my body parts because various muscles let me know they I worked them. I’m hoping that getting up from a chair will be easier, as well as getting out of a car. “My friends” are very happy that I’m moving. So far I do two sets, one for muscles, the next day one for bones and I’m allowed to take the next day off. We will see how long this lasts.

This is the beginners set. We will have to see if the powers that be decide I need a more advanced set. I would really like to be able to get up from the floor unaided and out of a chair. I would like to use the reclining chairs at the pool. Of course, I would like my knees to work like they used to and be able to take my clothes off, UNAIDED!

AGING BACKWARDS — I’m ready!

CHALLENGES AHEAD

CHALLENGES AHEAD

I am very sorry to share this information — my husband has been diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. He starts Chemo on Monday. He was just released from the hospital yesterday, home for the first time in over a week. What was a normal life has disappeared. Time spent in the hospital, time spent in transit, time spent communicating information to absent, concerned members of the family. NO TIME TO WRITE A THOUGHT RAMBLE OR TWO.

At this moment and time I don’t know if I will be able to publish a thought ramble every week. Everyone has a job to do. I do the best I can but sometimes circumstances out of my control intervene. I have learned that it is important I share my life in these rambles. It would be so easy to quit.

Until I have time to write a fresh thought ramble each week, I hope to republish thought rambles from the past. Since I have been writing more than five years there must be many to choose from. I hope that they are meaningful for you. I totally understand if your life is too busy to reread some thought rambles.

“MY friends in High Places” continue to “help” and support each day. Even though my husband was released from the hospital a few days ago, because of breathing or other issues, he ended up staying overnight again. Thankfully I have a strong faith and because of my many learning experiences, recognize the “help” when it arrives.

As hard as this challenge is for my husband who is fighting for each breath — it is hard for those who love him and are powerless to help.

OLD MAN

Sadly, right before my eyes I watched my husband change from a vibrant person to an old man. I became concerned with his breathing. We were in the country, I should have said that we needed to return home. I should have insisted that he see a doctor. Instead I watched, counting the number of days when we were scheduled to come home. I’ll admit that the night he couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t get comfortable worried me. I will admit that the night I discovered he was sitting out on the porch in the wee hours of the morning concerned me. I will admit that when he got the worst charley horse ever in his leg I was alarmed.

When we arrived home, I was still counting the days until his scheduled doctor’s appointment. I don’t know what moved me on a Friday morning to call his doctors office and leave a message that he needed an appointment. The message led to an office visit, a chest x-ray and the discovery of pneumonia. The pneumonia was well hidden behind a mass in his lung.

Tuesday morning, when I woke at 5 AM, he asked me to put ointment on his leg that I used for my knees. His leg was hurting — he didn’t sleep all night. I was ANGRY — Why didn’t he wake me. He had a scheduled appointment at the VA for his feet. Thankfully, although he was feeling better to make the trip, he didn’t get his nails cut. Instead we went to the ER where after waiting over an hour, he was given a room. Within an hour and a half he received another chest x-ray, an EKG and a procedure to check his leg. The medicine that he was taking for his pneumonia, although helping, wasn’t strong enough to heal it. The doctor decided he should spend the night. I took his cane and drove more than 30 miles home.

The VA is a very busy place. While we waited for a room, three gentlemen came in who were sicker. While they waited to send my husband up to a room in the hospital, a sicker person arrived who needed the remaining room. My husband was asked what hospital he wanted to be transferred to. He gave them the name of a hospital that is less than FIVE MILES from home.

The care he received at the hospital was EXCELLENT. Once again he got to take all the tests all over again. They even did a procedure to investigate his lung. The doctor he had took the time to thoroughly discuss his condition. After a couple of days he was released and is home.

Our son had been working out of town. When I didn’t update him with his father’s condition on Tuesday, he booked a flight home. I was glad he was home.

Sunday, in the car, heading for Mass, I turned the radio on. Instead of hearing music, I heard a talk show “I’m listening to you.” or a title something similar. The people talking recounted PSD, having a leg shot at a music concert and the aftermath. Another spoke of suicide. It DID NOT MATTER what station I got on the radio. The results where the same “I’m listening to you.!”

.

MISSING THE MOST

I originally thought that I would write a thought ramble about what I had accomplished this year. That thought changed to missing — but this is not going to be a ramble of the people and companions that I’m missing. Instead it is going to be about the parts of my body that have changed, because of age or negligence. This is in no particular order. One part is no more important than the other.

I’m missing my memory. It is most aggravating when I’m speaking and my voice freezes. I CAN NOT find the word that I want to say. Or I lose my train of thought. Since my father had Alzheimer’s disease, memory loss plays a part in my life. I know it is not a concern when I head off to get something, arrive at the location and have no idea what I came for. I have found that if I stay for a minute or two, remain calm, the purpose usually returns. I miss being able to remember what I planned to buy at the store. Writing a list helps. I miss being able to remember the food I have cooked, how often I’m repeating the same foods. I miss being able to remember good times that I have had. Writing thought rambles help as does writing things down in my calendar.

I miss my height. I haven’t measure it, but I think I’ve lost two to three inches. Cabinets that I could reach are no longer possible. The step I purchased to help my grandchildren reach the sink now has a new purpose — to HELP ME! I’m learning that I need to pull out the step stool more often or use a ladder. I have rearranged some of the cabinets — at home and at the camper — to make it easier. Clothes that fit fine are often too long.

I miss my sight. I used to be able to thread a needle. Now I have a number of glasses. Trying to determine which one to wear for a task is becoming a challenge. I LOVE my trifocals for driving and shopping in the store. I DO NOT like them for reading or cooking or painting. My eyes don’t seem to be able to easily adjust to the task at hand. I have a new pair of reading glasses. I always pick the lens that will allow me to read the smallest print. The glasses don’t work well for working on the computer because of the distance involved.

I miss my energy. In days gone by, evening was when I accomplished a lot. I could easily weed the garden, clean the house and other routine tasks without a problem. Now I know that whatever I want to do must be done in the morning. By early afternoon I’m lucky if I have the energy to make supper. Naps help — so does the slow cooker.

Thankfully I still have most of my hearing. Thankfully my health is good. We won’t talk about the weight issue or the trouble with my knees. I’ll soon be 75. Not too bad for an aging Dame!

Tag Cloud