A whisper …. a pebble …. A knock on the head …. When God wants your attention!
I’ll admit that I try to pay attention. I’ll admit that I don’t always succeed. I DON’T LIKE BEING HIT ON THE HEAD! It hurts!
Recently I have collided with the top of the kitchen counter, almost knocking myself out. I’ll admit that I saw stars. Thankfully I remained conscious but I had a wound on my head that lasted for a few weeks. Just the other day, I collided with an open cabinet door when I stooped to pick up stuff from the floor. Not as much damage to my body part but the area is sore to the touch. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M MISSING!
I’ll admit that the floor opened up and I fell down into a deep, dark hole that I can’t get out of. Other than the cold and the snow and the gray skies, there is no reason for this depression. Thankfully we aren’t dealing with a crisis — health or money. And I’m grateful — but I’m also stuck. My intention to stick to my food plan, lose weight and exercise has fallen by the wayside. I haven’t exactly given up, but my weight gain is telling a different story.
I could blame the weather, cold, snow. I could blame the realization that I have to give up some of my dreams. We don’t have the money to travel that I hoped we would have. I wasn’t expecting to travel the world, or stay in expensive places, but even our travels in the motor home seems to be above our budget. Age, health and the economic downturn hasn’t helped. Neither is the rise in expenses and our limited income.
If I sit down and count our blessings — they are many. We are much better off than many senior citizens — we have our health, food on the table, a house to live in and a country place to run away to if the weather ever allows.
Sadly that isn’t helping to get me out of this deep, black hole. My “friends in high places” are doing their best to help. Especially if I’m out and about by myself — sadly my husband seems to be an anchor that restricts “help”. Sometimes there is too much togetherness.
Today, I was counseled to look to ancient wisdom. Robin has a stomach upset — I remembered a brew I made for Mabel, our chocolate Lab that solved the problem. While at the store, a new issue of Woman’s World caught my interest. “Calm in 20 seconds — Amazing Hawaiian stress-relief secret” promised. I’ll try!
I have ENJOYED my trips to the islands. The magazine came home with me. I wish I could imagine a lovely spot on the beach and escape — but sadly that image is blocked. I haven’t been able to use guided meditation with good results. But I’m working on it. I’m going through my library of books — realizing that there isn’t enough hours in my day to reread all of them and I found a workbook on intuition. That stayed in the keep stack and I’m planning on working through it. When I was young, my intuition might have spoke to me. I think I was embarrassed and decided not to listen. I think it is time now to reconnect to the source.