My husband and I stopped at a favorite restaurant for breakfast. It was Friday morning, we usually stopped on Saturday. We didn’t sit in our favorite spot, nor did we have our favorite waitress. In fact, the woman who served us was extremely busy with a party and we had extra time to enjoy our morning coffee.
A heavy-set gentleman, wearing dark glasses, walking with a cane, eased into the booth across from us. As my coffee cup emptied and we still hadn’t placed our order, I became a little impatient. I have been gifted with a loud voice that carries. Even when I try to speak softly, my voice still carries. One comment led to another, soon the gentleman across from us joined in the conversation. I think his name was Bob. He had taken disability pay a few years ago which enabled him to take care of his aging parents. His father had cancer and his mother had Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. I knew why we had met.
His father hadn’t lingered, passing away soon after being diagnosed with cancer, his mother passed away in September, on the same day, four years later. His mother had been a handful and he missed her.
When I mentioned that my dad had Alzheimer’s, he asked me if I missed him. How did I handle the day-to-day when my life had been so involved in my father’s care? It was a question that made me pause. Dad has been gone over seventeen years, but he is still very active in my life. He let me know within three days that he was just fine on the other side. Although I didn’t see him or hear his voice, I was very aware that he was often present. It helped with my grieving. In fact, because of Alzheimer’s declining stages, he was more present than when he was alive. It also helped that our youngest daughter suggested I write our story of living with my father as his health declined. My first book, To Pap, With Love, gradually was born, with the help of “my friends.”
Bob, who was a veteran from Vietnam told me that it helped him to share his experiences with others, and to hear their stories in return. Confirmed — another reason for me to not only write but to share my life with others.
I don’t know why I have been gifted by help from the other side. Do I have a special job to do? When that thought crosses my mind, I could panic. But I believe that God is in charge. I have always gone to the president of the company when I was working. So I let the day-to-day in His hands and try not to worry about tomorrow.
We all have people and pets on the other side. If you are not aware of their presence, there can be many reasons why they are not active in your life. Or maybe they are and like my mother who was involved in mine undiscovered for more than 45 years, they might be so good at what they are doing, that you don’t notice. Maybe you are doing exactly what you need to and their direction isn’t needed.