PRESSURES OFF

I’ve tried, and I will continue to try. I’m NOT GIVING UP — but there is no way I’m going to lose the weight before we fly. My BODY LOVES ME just the way I am. Pressures off.

I wanted to increase my energy levels — I’m not at the former level yet but then again, I’m not fifty anymore either. My expectations are high, I have something to strive for. But I’m not upset with the reality.

The forecast promised sunny skies, temperatures in the 60′s. Too nice to stay inside. My husband and I wandered to Morton’s Arboretum.  When we entered the gate, I asked if any places were closed because of the recent rains. I learned that the park had been closed for FOUR days, the underpass was under ELEVEN FEET of water. Many places were still boggy, which meant watching your step when walking off path. Like the Botanic Garden, many daffodils were ladies in waiting, but some of their neighbors were excited to show off.  The difference in access to sunshine was noticeable. I found gentle hills and today my thighs aren’t yelling. I don’t think I’m ready for mountains, but I won’t need a nap after walking a mile or being up for two hours. PROGRESS.

Still preparing, I haven’t packed yet. Still adding stuff to the pile when I think of something. I could make a list and I still might. Watching the piles grow, I’ll have to do some serious cutting. Just how many purses do I need to take? How many pairs of shoes?

Shoes — I’m finally able to wear gym shoes again. PROGRESS! When we were at the Wisconsin Dells, I was unable to walk some of the terrain because of my shoes. I found a pair of new gym shoes that I bought before I had issues with my feet. Not only do they fit, but I’ve walked two miles in them just to break them in. They are definitely going.

We are hoping to go to Turtle Bay on the North shore of Oahu. I tried to do some advance planning on the computer which generated challenges of its own. I learned that the park on the North Shore is now run by the Audubon society. I’m expecting the terrain to be anything but flat. My son is thinking about climbing Diamond Head again. I have made some progress but I don’t think I’m up to the climb and I know my knees wouldn’t do the crawl through the tunnel. I’m realistic — some things aren’t going to change.

“My friends in high places” are excited. I KNOW they are going with us, or will drop in when we are there. I won’t need to be locked out on the patio. I’m sure “they” will have other surprises in mind.

TURNING THE PAGE

New day, new month — for a short time, warmer weather. A snow storm is predicted for the North, I’m glad we don’t live up there. I’m writing this before we fly, but I will publish it while we are gone. Looking at my schedule, I realized that it wouldn’t hurt to write a few rambles in advance. From experience, I know it will take me a few days, or weeks to catch up. Hopefully not months.

It is hard to pack for 80 degrees when the temperature is 40. I get cold easily, and I don’t want to weigh down the luggage with cold weather gear. God took pity on me and gave us a couple of 80 degree days. It should come as no surprise when I write that I LOVE to be OUTSIDE when it is warm. I must take after my mother. My dad was very content to be INSIDE. In his later years, he walked to church or to the store but he wasn’t a person to go on picnics or to the beach.

Mother’s Day is approaching. I’ve heard that my mother liked pansies. I have been ignoring the opportunity to BUY flowering baskets or other plants. After all, I’m not going to be home — who will water them? I have to admit that I gave in yesterday. My younger grandchildren will be at our house while I am gone. At the store picking up more supplies, I noticed the price of the hanging baskets had been reduced. I’ll admit that they weren’t beautiful, but considering the price, three came home with me — pansies, begonias and geraniums. They tolerate cooler temperatures. Since they weren’t beautiful, I’m taking a chance that they will survive without me. I LIKE hanging baskets — the colors of the flowers greet my eyes when I’m coming and going. I don’t have to get down on my knees to take care of them.

Trips are over so quickly, but a lot of the fun is in the planning. I was at Costco yesterday, processing the film from my camera. By now you know I take A LOT of photo’s. I wanted the camera to be ready for Hawaii. Imagine my surprise when photo’s I had deleted from Botanical Garden were still on the camera. The memory card said that it contained NO PICTURES.  IT LIED. I deleted the pictures again, placed the card in the machine and surprise — all 580 were still there. This would never do. Repeating the sequence a few more times with the same results, I was frustrated! The person working in photo’s called for someone to help me. Thankfully, he knew how to reformat the card. My plans for today have changed. I PLANNED to stay home, get ready for the trip. INSTEAD I’m going out with my camera to play — we have another beautiful day,  flowers are in bloom, so are some of the trees. I’m sure I will have a few opportunities to take a couple of photos. I want to make sure that my camera is ready for the trip too!

I looked over my CD’s, writing down the names of the ones I have. I refreshed my memory as to the Hawaiian cookbooks I have. I thought I had two, SURPRISE, another was hiding next to them on the shelf. I’ve already found a new recipe to try when I come home. Maybe this time I won’t come home with a new book but I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunities to shop. And I’m sure I will have PLENTY OF “HELP.”

WANDERING AT THE ZOO

It was a beautiful day — sunny, blue skies, warmer temperatures, but cooler near the Lake. Perfect day to wander. Both my husband and I had been having issues with our camera. His camera didn’t want to zoom. Mine didn’t want to delete its pictures.

We had already visited Brookfield zoo, but Lincoln Park is much smaller. Not as much walking, or so I thought. When we arrived home, my pedometer had registered more steps than our Brookfield wandering.

Outside the zoo proper is the Alfred Caldwell Lilly Pond, a Japanese style water garden complete with  a rocky edged pond and a Japanese style tea house. It was built many years ago, fell into disrepair  and thankfully recently restored. The path isn’t smooth, limestone rocks were used to allow bubbling streams of water to cascade from the hill top and ledges were created in the hill. It holds many memories for me — my two cousins and I visited many times in our youth. We tried to catch fish using sticks and string — NO BAIT — I  guess that’s why we didn’t catch anything. Thinking back, we might have tried pieces of bread. I have taken my own grandchildren there.

The gate to the area was open when we approached.  At the top of a rocky shelf, a young girl had a hula hoop and was exercising to music on her radio. A female goose had decided to take a nap on the path. I disturbed her slumber, suggesting she move to a more comfortable area. She didn’t agree, tucking her head back into her wing, resuming her nap.

I miss the elephants. Neither of our zoos have them any more. They are social animals and take too much room for the small zoo. Brookfield moved theirs to another zoo when their older one died soon after its birthday. Plans were made to expand the elephant habitat, but the falling economy interfered.

A polar bear is swimming in his pool. I didn’t read the information so I don’t know if there is only one. That is another spot that I always visit. This one has a big red ball that he likes to push up into the air. Trying to catch that exercise on camera was interesting. I was not successful but luckily my husband was. I like to see the places we wander to through my husbands eyes.

As we wandered past the African wild dogs, we heard the song Kumbya — guitar and voice coming from a woman sitting on the ground. I thought her choice of song was most appropriate for our approach.

We stopped to visit the gorilla house. The gorillas were taking a nap — the chimpanzees, after enjoying their outside habitat, seven played follow the leader, descending to their private space below.

As we left the zoo, we passed the African Wild dogs again. They were still sleeping but a couple of zoo rangers were standing there to answer questions. One of the young ladies shared information about the zoos interaction with Zimbabwe, in Africa. Personnel from the organization to which the zoo belongs are inoculating the wild dogs and the domestic dogs against rabies. This has allowed not only the people to be healthier, but also the African Wild dogs and the lions.  I was glad that we stopped to chat.

Walking down the path next to the North Pond, I saw a bench and sat down to give my feet a much needed break. My husband was watching fishing casting lessons on the pier. I noticed a small white dog’s head on the path below my perch. When my husband walked by, I got up to join him. I was surprised, the small white dog wasn’t small at all, he was large. Part poodle, part golden retriever, he always lays down to keep from scaring the smaller dogs.

Many people don’t recognize the personalities that birds and animals have. I have learned that they all provide interest to my life if I take the time to notice.

EXCITEMENT IS BREWING

Less than two weeks before we fly and “my friends in high places” are HELPING! Excitement is in the air. Yesterday, shopping at Target I stooped to pick up a pair of reading glasses on the floor. As I put them back on the stand I noticed that they were on sale. I have to admit that a pair came home with me, as a backup for my prescription glasses in Hawaii. Too many times I have taken my spare glasses out of my purse and reached for them while shopping, only to find them missing in action. It must have been a glasses day — I also found a pair of Magnivision SunReaders 100% UVA-UVB. I’m not sure either of the non-prescription glasses are strong enough, but they are going.

Yesterday, I read that color is power — advised to select a color you don’t normally wear and introduce that into your wardrobe — it changes your energy field. No surprise, looking for a hat to take with me, I found  a bright pink LEATHER purse on sale. Pink is the color of love — a predominate color in my vacation wardrobe, but not one I normally wear. I also found an airy, collapsible, white hat, trimmed in pink.

At Tuesday night’s dinner, I loved a tomato, cucumber salad. It was so flavorful I had to push the serving dish out of my reach. I had asked to look at their menu and received a take out menu instead. The writing was so small that my glasses and the dim light did not allow me to read it. Pulling the menu out Saturday night, I found the salad I enjoyed — Shepherd’s salad.  The internet is a marvelous tool. I’m not very experienced but I was able to find a recipe for it.  I was slightly surprised when I learned the name for this Sunday at church is SHEPHERD’S SUNDAY.

I planned to go to the Botanic Garden today. I have not been there since the fall, the weather hasn’t been inviting. I know that daffodil’s are in bloom, and possibly tulips. Since today is blue skies, temperature in the 40′s, I thought a walk in the Garden would be delightful. I’m curious what my body will say about the trip.  At Mass, I asked a friend if she knew how the recent rain affected the Garden. She suggested that I look at their website. I am SO GLAD that I did. I learned the Antiques & Garden Show is this weekend. A few years ago, I wandered there on this weekend and had to park in a lot off property. They had a shuttle to take people back and forth. To say the garden was crowded is an understatement. Hopefully the weather will be warmer tomorrow with blue skies. I’ll wander then.

April 22, 2013- – Earth Day — blue skies, a perfect day to wander the Botanic Garden. Our cool spring has delayed the blooms. The hills that normally are covered in daffodils are waiting. The workers are taking down the tents from the weekend’s show. The East side of the Garden showed few effects of last weeks storms. Sadly, the West side didn’t fair as well. Many bridges were underwater, paths closed. I was curious, I wanted to know if I would be able to walk the garden as I had in the past. Thankfully, I had the energy, even if the walk was longer because of the detours.

This makes the 52nd thought ramble I’ve written since I began in May of last year. I didn’t think I have that much to say. Evidently “my friends” don’t agree and thankfully they “HELP!” I hope some of the stories I’ve shared and my thought rambles have been helpful to you.

SHARE YOUR STORY

I have trouble thinking of the title for my thought rambles. This morning while washing clothes I thought of this title. I thought it was meant as a nudge for you — to share your stories with your friends. Often I have shared a story of mine, which in turn gave the person I was talking to the courage to share one of theirs. But then again, was the title a nudge for me?

The countdown to Hawaii continues. Last week, Woman’s World magazine had a few headlines on their cover which encouraged me to buy it: “Gina Neely grilled her way 20lbs slimmer,” “Reverse Alzheimer’s”. I didn’t have hope for the reverse Alzheimer’s title but I had to read  it. Losing 20 pounds,  another pipe dream. But I’m a dreamer. I was surprised that the magazine also featured Oahu as their get-away.

We were out in the country, opening our camper for the season. Saturday I walked to the closest lake which is about a mile away. And my body strongly suggested I return home. Bit tired when I arrived. I remembered that a few years ago I was able to walk  3 miles and still be ready for more. Times have changed! Sunday, I tried again.  This time I walked about half way behind the lake when my big toe began protesting. Reaching our camper I was glad I turned back. This Tuesday, back in the city, sun beckoned me outside. I was able to walk to a distant main road, turning around, I was half way home when whatever energy I had — LEFT. Reaching home, my pedometer read 2.33 miles. PROGRESS!

This morning I was grousing about my weight, it loves me and IS NOT LEAVING! Then I remembered a lovely dinner I attended on Tuesday night — Mediterranean flavors, — seven bountiful appetizers , 3 entrees and a lovely desert platter. The evening was sponsored by a local hospital, the program on vitamins and nutrition. I totally enjoyed my share of the food!

Tuesday night, I learned a friend is celebrating her 70th birthday soon. I knew just the present to give her. Our youngest granddaughter painted a picture when she was 2 and 1/2. In the painting I saw an angel. Of course I shared my photo of the painting with friends. For a few years my friend has requested a copy of the photo. It would be a perfect present if I could find the disk. FINDING — the quest began. I would not be exaggerating if I said I take a lot of photos, putting them on a disk for safe keeping. (I also make hard copies of the ones I really like. Technology is changing too quickly)  I easily have 12 disks covering a year but probably it is much more than that. Long story short — with the “help” of my friends, I found the disk and was able to enlarge the photo.

Did I mention that the countdown to Hawaii has begun. Wednesday, I was reaching for a can on my filing cabinet. It fell out of my hands onto the floor. Retrieving the contents, I found a bag with brochures from our last trip to Hawaii, including a map and a brochure from a hidden restaurant that we enjoyed. I mentioned the find to our son. He laughed and asked if the can had been nudged. Just a little “HELP”.

Please Share YOUR STORIES with others, they might also help you to see the “help” in your life.

GROUSING AND GRUMBLING

My weight is up — I have added exercise and two 10 minute walks to my day — the second walk after dinner.  I’m not expecting miracles but it would be nice if my weight remained constant, not increasing. My diet HAS NOT increased. I have not been enjoying candy, ice cream and soda. Just a little grousing  — and  so I met the morning.

Continuing on with my grumbling — I mentioned that if I was going to write a thought ramble this morning — I needed some inspiration. My “friends in high places” are often ready to help — often hidden.

Song Of Songs 8:4 — “do not arouse, do not stir up love, before its time.” Words from my daily calendar: “Thinkers do not accept the inevitable, they turn their efforts toward changing it.” Further encouragement — “Be real. Express yourself.”

Okay — I’m stubborn, I have not given up! Yesterday I was so tired I fell asleep watching Idol. I will continue to exercise, eat healthy and try to increase my energy.

The weather in Chicago this week has been rainy, cooler temperature, gray skies, damp. My body parts are reacting to the conditions. But the weather hasn’t stopped me. Grabbing my umbrella, I walked to the post office yesterday. I have been pestered to meditate. But the meditation — sitting quietly, closed eyes has not brought forth anything. Walking, on the other hand, I received an idea that solved my supper dilemma. Often I have received ideas while I’m outside — walking.

My daughter phoned from Florida before we left for China Town where I planned to renew our supply of tea. When she mentioned a pain in her elbow, I told her about a ointment that I use from there. Although the father at the herbal store speaks some English, his son is fluent in English. I was happy to see the son when I arrived. Not only did I get the ointment, he also provided bubble wrap and a box for shipping.

Supposedly Spring is here which means the camping season is beginning and a trip to Hawaii is on the horizon. I have begun to prepare for both. Summer clothes found — the first bin held my long dresses.

Buying food for the camper — yesterday at Whole Foods, I bought the LAST bottle of a herb that I take. Prescriptions have been renewed.

Returning home, a car pulling out of a parking space noticed I was driving past and stopped. Collision avoided — I hadn’t noticed the lights on the other car.

Walking down the steps, my foot slipped, but the I regained my balance before I fell.

Hidden — “My friends” often “help.” I don’t always notice.

COMPROMISED

I’m not sure compromised was the word the doctor used describing my legs when he strongly suggested that I give myself shots before flying to Hawaii. I know it was a “c” word — the word didn’t stick. Compromised will have to do. I said I always take an aspirin before flying, he replied that was a glass of water compared to a strong highball. He won, I will give myself a shot before getting on the plane, and another shot 24 hours later, and another 24 hours later and repeat the process coming home. The shot is a strong blood thinner — I really don’t need to get a blood clot. I will get up and walk down the aisles, it is an eight hour flight.  I will make sure that I stay hydrated. I will be a good girl and wear my compression stockings. I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER ULCER!! Walking on the beach, going in the water, I’m ready.

Even if I lost weight, which sadly isn’t happening — the veins in my legs have gone through the war and they won’t return to their youthful vigor.  Taking stock — my energy level is rising. I don’t need a nap mid morning, sometimes I can make it through the whole afternoon. We won’t discuss how early I’m falling asleep at night though, and of course, by now you know that “my friends” thought better at 4:00 AM.  (Now they aren’t restricted by time.) I still haven’t convinced them that I DO NOT.

I told my doctor that I wasn’t able to meditate during the 21 day challenge with Deepak and Oprah. He replied that I ‘m too stubborn. He only met me in January and he already knows.

And I will use that stubbornness to my advantage. I will continue to exercise, try to eat healthy and continue to try to lose weight.  Maybe, just maybe, my weight will decrease. And I’m confident “my friends” will continue “to Help” when needed.

When I wrote To Pap With Love, and Journey with Me, I had “help from my friends”. Sentences would disappear and other interesting things occurred when what I wrote didn’t measure up. Evidently they didn’t like what I just wrote. Four paragraphs gone! I was detailing the events of the last four days, my younger grandchildren were in town. I “saved” the writing. The save didn’t work so I cancelled it and the whole added paragraphs disappeared.

Much of my life is meant to be private and I guess that includes the last four days. Rather than try to rewrite, I’ll just say that I had enough energy to wander through the Peggy Norbert Nature Museum, the Shedd aquarium and Garfield conservatory. I have a sore foot because I wore new shoes, but I was able to do it. PROGRESS!

THANK YOU LORD!

WHERE ARE YOU

A couple of years ago I was reading either a magazine or a book that asked me to name ten people in my life that were important to me. No problem — I did that easily. Then the author asked where on the list I was. Surprise, I wasn’t there at all.

For the last 20 days I have joined Deepak Chopra and Oprah for a 21 day meditation. It ends tomorrow on Easter Sunday. I have trouble meditating — my mind, my body, the noises in my environment — they all distract me. Each day, at the end of the meditation, Oprah asked three questions that I have found very interesting. They all pertained to regaining my health. Instead of journaling on the computer, I have written in long hand in a book. The questions are helping me pay attention to me, to keep myself on my list.

My life can be very quiet and uneventful. If I am doing what I should — exercising or resting, eating healthy, not extremely worried, going with the flow of my life — “my friends” remain in the background. They “help” when there is a need, otherwise my life is uneventful, I have NOTHING to write about.

Since I found and accepted the invitation to meditate, my life has been quiet. Hoping to increase my energy level I have added more exercise to my day. I am paying more attention to my diet, hoping to melt. I wish I could say that my sleep is more restful, I’m hoping that will happen.

This week, the noise coming from North Korea caused me some concern since my son and I are planning to go to Hawaii. A message came through the morning I heard of the stealth bombers to DETACH FROM DRAMA. I am paying attention to the message — other than pray for a peaceful world — there is nothing I can do anyway.

When I was at the Mind, Body, Spirit Expo a knowledgeable person advised me to talk to a nutrionalist, my body needs some minerals that are either missing or in short supply. An invitation from a near by hospital invited me to a healthful dinner where a  Doctor of Internal medicine is speaking on vitamins and supplements. I have accepted the invitation.

On Good Friday, the last question of the meditation was: “How do you know when you are living in or out of alignment with your life’s purpose?” I had to laugh, when I’m out of my life’s purpose I get hit on the head. Pebbles in the road become boulders.

My youngest daughter was at our house with her two children. They were trying to play Skylanders when the Portal Of Power stopped working. Our daughter told her children that unusual things happen in Gramma’s house. We wanted to take the kids to McDonald’s for lunch and active play in the playlot before they had to get back into the car and drive back home for three hours.  Our grandson wanted to play on the computer. “My friends” must have agreed with me.

ENERGY WHERE ARE YOU

Since I set the theme of this blog as recognizing help from “my friends on the other side” it seems against the rules to grouse about life in general. But grouse and complain I do, just not here — and sometimes I get HELP from the other side.

The ulcer on my left leg restricted my ability to stand for a long period of time. It didn’t affect my ability to walk, so I was able to shop, as long as I didn’t have to wait in line for a long time. I passed on going to the museum, decisions to go out reflected my energy levels and level of pain. Exercise was also affected — making my leg hurt was not in my best interest and I knew it. When the leg screamed, I laid down. As a result, my energy is very low.

This has been brought home to me as I feel the need for a nap soon after getting up in the morning. Exercise routines that were easy are now a challenge. I HAVE NOT given up yet.

I decided for Lent that I would meditate every day. It hasn’t happened. Until last week when I received an invitation from Oprah to join Deepak Choprah’s 21 day Meditation Challenge. After 13 days I still can not meditate. If it isn’t the noise in the house, my mind has its own thing going on but I try and try again. The questions following the meditation have been very interesting. They are making me pay more attention to my body and they have generated “Help” from the other side.

It should come as no surprise that I have been trying to lose weight for a very long time, with no success. One meditation and questions concerned eating for balance. I received an e-mail detailing the amount of protein needed to support the body. Dr Oz had been on the cover of a weekly magazine with the same subject recently. Through the years I have determined that I needed a protein diet but the amount I consume hasn’t reached the target point. I remembered that the South Beach Diet worked for me a few years ago, it is protein based. I actually lost weight. The South Beach Diet was on the cover of a weekly magazine today.

Thursday, the soft boot was removed from my leg, a gauze bandage covered the healing sore.  My husband and I stopped at Food For Less to pick up supplies. I met a man from Texas in the vegetable aisle and was able to help him find the vegetable he was looking for. He shared the reason he was in our cold town instead of his warm state. Both he and his wife have come North to help their daughter and her family. I talked to him for so long I phoned my husband to tell him the store didn’t swallow me. The next morning, an e-mail reminded me that even though I reach out with a warm word, I should not become the cane for another person.

Exercise, I still don’t have the energy. The word Yoga has been surfacing on a regular basis. Although I haven’t signed up for a class or put an hour DVD into the machine, I’m doing some yoga exercises most days as well as deep breathing.

Has my energy returned? Not yet but I’m working on it.

HI MOM

I was congested in my throat and chest. I will admit that I didn’t think I should go to the Mind, Body, Spirit Expo on March 2, 2013 at Northlake. It was cold outside, and it was often chilly in the meeting rooms. I will also admit that I always totally enjoy the Expo and wasn’t happy that I thought I shouldn’t go. Since I have realized that I walk to a different drummer, I am very comfortable there. I was going to stay home,  be an adult and pay attention to my health. My friend’s in high places didn’t agree. They thought I should go. The message came through very loud and clear. First thing in the morning, I opened the bible to a passage from Jeremiah: “like the anguish of a mother with her first child.” I listed my reasoning for staying home.  I was reminded that life is a creative process with many possibilities. I was told to TRUST and TAKE BACK MY POWER. I was also told to surrender to the Divine. The messages all had the same theme — and I got the message. I also got the last parking space at the Expo.

I have to admit that I was glad that I went. A few years ago, I attended a workshop at the Expo where the presenter told me that my mother was there, she is often with me when I wash clothes. And I have to admit that I am grateful for her presence. Since she passed when I was four, I don’t know her. Since her passing was so tragic, my family didn’t speak of her. I don’t know her stories but I have been told that I am like her in many ways.

During the day, I was reminded of my mother four to five times.  I don’t remember all of the occasions. Our middle daughter has had two nicknames. Her name is unique since I made it up when I was a Freshman in High School to honor my brother, who also passed. This woman not only had my daughter’s nickname, but her husband’s name was Terrence — my brother’s name. Later  in the afternoon, someone told me that my mother was with me.

When I’m at the Expo, I try to be more alert to information that I need, but also anything that would be helpful to my children. Sometimes they can take advantage of it, at other times, it isn’t possible. I met a doctor who might be able to help the spasms in my middle daughter’s back. He is from India and only in the States for a limited time. Sadly, her schedule doesn’t permit her to meet with him.

Although my oldest daughter was at the Expo, we often attend separate presentations. I went to a workshop presented by an artist and received ideas that would be helpful to both my daughter and I. It’s time to find my paints!

I planned to attend a two hour workshop to end the day. The temperature of the room was so cool, I went to get my coat. I watched as they set up the room for the presentation and realized the speaker was an author.  I listened to her opening music and knew it was time to leave.

Returning to the lobby, I saw a woman from my neighborhood and asked if she needed a ride home. Her driver was from the south side and was happy to be able to go home.  The driver works in the Palmer House, a building that my youngest daughter wants to use in her story.  She actually knows the person that my daughter needs to speak to.

Thanks Mom!